the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
