guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
never play flip cup with pint glasses
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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