but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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