Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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