Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I want to be your penis for a week.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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