just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
