Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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