i think i have two assholes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
