its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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