he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
