I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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