Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize