Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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