So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
