If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
