Barsexuality is the new black.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My vagina just clenched in fear
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
