that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
