Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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