He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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