grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
