I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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