I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
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I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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