apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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