Im at strip club and am horny
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
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