I'm lost and stupid without you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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