There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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