So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
