I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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