All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
