Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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