there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
