She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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