guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
