He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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