we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
operation harelip BJ is a go
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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