is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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