I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
