If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish i was in the wii world.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
