last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont even know how to be here
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
