I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
