my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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