I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
