I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
