Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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