my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
