Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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