Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
