She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
