Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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