out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
