Tell her she can't have a vagina
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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