I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize