For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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