i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
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It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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