a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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